The Tartan

Fatherhood brings many changes, much joy

By Victor Tuccy, Staff Writer

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On March 17th, 2016 my life changed forever, it was 2 p.m. in the afternoon and after what seemed like an eternity, I was holding the only thing that I had ever truly accomplished in my life. It was my daughter Addison May Tuccy and at that point I knew that everything was going to change for a better or worse I was a father and there was nothing that was going to keep me from fulfilling those duties to protect, teach, and nurture my little girl.

I had always wanted to have my own family, my own car, my own house, and the career of my choosing, not in any particular order but I had an idea of how I was going to go about accomplishing those things in my life.  But when I first found out my daughter’s mother was pregnant I had to kick it into high gear to prepare for the birth of my child. I kicked myself into gear and got a second job on top of the one I already and thankfully just finished paying off my car at that time so three quarters of my plan was set in motion. The only thing I had yet to do and still have yet to do is get my daughter and I a house of our own. Thankfully my parents have been gracious enough to let me and my daughter live with them until I can get fully on my feet along with helping out as I’ve attended McHenry County College.

When I was young I had some significant things happen in my life that caused me to have a hole in my heart, but as soon as my daughter was born the hole has started to fill slowly and surely she has completed my life like nothing I could have ever imagined. I never thought I could love something so little and pour all my time, energy, and soul into someone like I have with Addison. A lot of people like to say they can love someone or something so much but I don’t think people really understand what that means until it’s towards someone that not only has no choice but needs to depend on everything — and I mean every little thing — from you in their life for at least 18 years. I think the greatest gift in this world is having a child of your own to raise so that they can go farther then you could ever go. And I believe the best part of that is seeing all the little steps in her life. From the first time, she opened her to her first words and steps, I’ve never imagined how much joy I would feel watching my daughter learn and do things that we as adults take for granted. Each new thing that she learns reminds me that it is my job every day to help push her forward and to give her every opportunity to succeed and strive for the best.

I have only been a father for almost two years and as the time has gone on it seems that I still have more questions than answers when it comes to being a parent and father. I have been fortunate to still have my father around to teach and show me the right way to be a father. I also have my brothers — both parents of two children each — who have been able to give me advice from what they have garnered and learned from being parents. Even so with all the resources and knowledge I still have many questions and obvious things I need to learn about being a father. I think my biggest question would be how you learn to let go of things as your child gets older, and when you do, should you feel guilty that you have let go? Even in the short amount of time my daughter has been alive, it has been hard to watch her grow and learn and do the things that she is doing now. I feel guilty because it is sad watching her grow up even though I know that that is only going to keep on happening throughout her life. I often wonder if other fathers and parents feel this way as their kids grow up and I wonder if they are as conflicted as I am about this issue in parenting.

It will be daughters 2nd birthday in March and it serves as a reminder of how time flies. I never measured time in years, that may sound silly, but I used to judge time day by day as opposed to counting the years go by. Since my daughter’s birth I have finally started to realize how fast the years fly when it is not just your life being the center of the universe.  At the same time, I almost wish I wouldn’t notice the time flying by because before I know it my daughter will be in her own car with her own ambitions and dreams and I will have to once again figure out how to judge my life from day to day. But until that time comes I will show my love and affection toward my daughter and be the father that I am supposed to be. Even when the time comes to have to let go, it may be hard but I know I will always be her father. Until my last day, I will always try and help make her life better than the one that I had, and I will push her to go farther than I ever could.

Being a father has been the most rewarding experience I have ever had in my life. I honestly don’t think I would have gotten as far as I have come these last two years if it wasn’t for the birth of my daughter. She is the apple of my eye and a one of a kind I love her with all my heart and I cannot wait to see what the next chapter of her life brings for not only her but for me as well.

 

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Fatherhood brings many changes, much joy